Dear Soul…

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Waves, by artist Somoramos

Dear Sweet Soul,

I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but one day you will be grateful. God or the Divine being gave you strength to remove yourself from people who were not good for you. You needed it to happen.

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After decades of “helping them in their time of need” (which turned out to be covering for their lies, betrayals and things downright unfathomable) you may also have to deal with the aftermath now.

People who are capable of cheating, stealing and the most immoral of human acts, will not usually go away easy. You know too much. You being free of their sharp talons and mind games makes them very nervous. What if you expose them for everything they really are so the world sees what they’ve done? They don’t like that possibility and will do what they think they must, for their version of “damage control”.

Be prepared to be discredited, gossiped about or worse. The guilty, the weak and the insecure are also the most cruel.

But you’ll be ok…

You see, you have something they never will. A good heart, from a good upbringing, the knowledge and wisdom they will never acquire. The knowledge that on your worst day, you would still never come close to their darkness.

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You have light and love inside of you:  your mom’s quiet strength and resilience, and your dad’s wisdom and understanding.

Give yourself some time. You may have done kind deeds for unkind people, but their truths are between them and their God. I believe karma will visit them, if it doesn’t already, and remind them in a most poignant manner, what they’ve done and what they need to pay for. Karma’s got this 😊 💕.

Just focus on you. Be kind to youself, do not be hard on yourself for believing in the wrong people. Good souls often go through this.  From now on you’ll hear your gut instinct louder. You’ll be even stronger, wiser and more resilient.

You’ll feel like this again soon 💖…

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I believe in you. You are loved. You will overcome anything and everything.  Please keep your strong and beautiful spirit alive. Believe in You and remember:  everything you need is already within you.

Love,

Me

 

 

 

How to deal with ‘Stupid’

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Have you ever met one of those people that make you shake your head in dismay because what they’ve said is so backwards and defies any and every logic, that you swear you might be on candid camera, because no one could possibly be THAT stupid?

You know the type;  the kind next to you in the waiting room that offers solutions that are three times more unhealthy and unsafe for your children, than the illness itself. The kind that obsesses like a lunatic about a comma being in the wrong place of a sentence (never mind the fact that the sentence itself… heck, the entire paragraph is ignorance and counterproductivity altogether, right?) but the only thing the idiot cares about is the fricking comma placement.

Omg and lol.  Yes, we have all been there a time or two, forced to witness or partake in an absurd plan, event or hairbrained idea.

The real dilemma is, though, what to do when it becomes a pattern. When you are watching a repetitive example of “Those who create their own storms and then cry when it rains”.

Your initial reaction may be to get frustrated, then feel hopeless, but I have good news for you. The good news is, you don’t have to care. By that I mean, you don’t have to take such an emotional investment into the situation. I understand, believe me, I’ve been there. I used to get so frustrated, but here’s the thing: if the people who are creating their own storms truly wanted your help and truly wanted to enhance or improve a situation, they would’ve approached it in a new way and in a new mindset, long before it became a pattern. 📌

You cannot change people at their core. It is what it is and they are what they are. Let it go. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t let the opinion of those who can’t even fathom what you could contribute…phase you in the least bit. Try instead to view them for what they really are: unaware, struggling and stumbling individuals that will have to learn the hard way – on their own.

 

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If you are in a situation where you feel like you are watching (what happens in this picture above) so often that it becomes the sad example of ‘the norm’… You need to decide to either drastically change the situation (if you actually can, if you can, yay! and go for it!), or accept the ridiculousness for what it is. I have to share this with you, there is incredible freedom that comes with that one act, ‘acceptance’.

By all means, do Not emotionally invest yourself in the situation or in any of their thought processes, if it means diminishing any wonderful part of ‘you’. Do Not change yourself to accommodate people who can’t even comprehend your value.

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Just sit back, pull up a popcorn, a soda and have fun watching the show. 🎥 📺 😊

And if they get negative (most who can’t evolve, will get this way) at you or at others, try to think of it as a Three-Stooges-type of entertainment 🎭.  Of course they’re going to do something that makes no sense, again, of course they’re going to whine, complain and desperately claw at SOMEone, again… For some, that is all they are capable of.

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But this time, you’ll enjoy watching them run around like fools, tripping, falling and making —es of themselves, just like the Three Stooges did, as they (hilariously) tried to fix something and made it worse, still… 🙂 Think of it as a free cable channel 😉 and you’ll be just fine. 💖

 

 

The Day The Shift Started…

I was driving to my parent’s house and my cell phone rang. I’ll listen to it later I thought. That day was just a clean-up-&-toss-out day, so I was sure that nothing could be urgent. I was just minutes away, after all.

When I pulled up to the driveway I was shocked to see how many belongings were layed out across the cement in the driveway and garage.  Items that my mom had, for years, begged us to go through and toss or organize, now took up every spare inch of the driveway and then some…

I saw our wonderful neighbors sitting with my dad, showing him each item, talking to him, seeing him shake his head no, and then exhaustedly walk away and put it in a particular pile.

As I walked closer to greet my dad and give him a hug, I saw tears running down his face. I saw so much pain in his eyes that even now as I recall it, I tear up and shake.

They were helping my dad clean out the house that he and my mom lived in, the only place I knew as “home”, that held soo many memories for us…

It was a fairly large house. Nothing in comparison to the luxury homes I see nowadays but it was nice. One of my childhood friends joked that it looked like a miniature ‘White House’ because of the white pillars in front. I loved that front porch and swing…

It was a decent enough size to hold a lot of sentimental belongings.  How ironic, I thought, now that mom has passed away, is when we all finally listen to her and start cleaning out that large attic and basement.

Shamefully I wiped away tears, held my dad’s hand and started assisting my neighbors in asking him “What would you like to have us do with this?”. To every question his answer was “Keep it please. That’s from when your mom and I went… (insert name of road trip, family vacation and/or small event he remembered)…I love that (name of trinket)… It reminds me of your mom.” and the heartbreak washed over his face even more.

From the smallest to the heaviest of items, no matter how broken or how much he knew he wouldn’t use them again, he said “Keep it please, don’t throw that away, it’s in perfectly good condition. ”

After awhile we were all getting a little flustered and frustrated. He was about to be moved into a small ranch-style (only half of it) house. There was no way there would be enough room for all of these things.

When he wouldn’t let go of some old Christmas wrapping (several hours later) I had to step away to take a deep breath. Not because I thought he was being irrational or overly sentimental but because up until that day, I had been like that too.

My mom had told me countless time to donate some of my toys to a child who could receive some joy out of them, instead of them sitting in an attic just collecting dust. She had been so right. And ~ If I had done so, my dad wouldn’t be sitting there on the cement floor of his garage, being forced to remember even more memories that made him shed tears, again.

Over and over it hit me like a tons of bricks, smacked so hard into my chest that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. With each item he insisted on keeping and each tear that fell down his cheek, I was reminded of my immature needs those years ago. “No mom, don’t give that away, that was a gift from ___ and I want to keep it forever! “

Our family friends eventually talked him into giving up some items. Bless their hearts for their efforts and patience. I couldn’t handle it. My mom had passed away just a couple weeks earlier and it was too much for either my dad or I to take.

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That day changed my need to keep sentimental items. I saw how much pain was in my dad’s eyes and swore I’d never allow myself to get emotionally attached to material things ever again.

This wasn’t the beginning to my journey into ‘minimalism’ though. I hadn’t even heard of it back then. As a matter of fact, I went the other direction, let go of too much. Because of my story, which I hope to tell some day, there were things I tossed that I should’ve kept and I’m still more than sad about them.

I started to go the extreme other direction. A part of the grieving processes, especially denial and anger for me was tossing anything and everything 😦

It would be many years before I would want to or begin to understand how to find the right balance.

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When I arrived home later that day I listened to the voicemail from the phone call earlier that day. It had been from one of my parents’ family friends. they were asking me to come help my dad because he was having a difficult time letting go of so many things.

Until that moment, I didn’t realize how much I was too…

The Counselor and/or Advocate

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Lol and 💖…

I was reading another blogger’s page and saw she mentioned the website with the 16 personalities test. I’ve taken that test numerous times because of work and because I love the psychology of it all.

I’m an INFJ, so this picture made me laugh big time. To a degree it is true. While we all have intuitive skills and can determine if someone is deceiving us, to an extent, I’ve been told and have noticed I tend to sense it a little earlier than some. This isn’t always a good thing so no bragging is included in here.

Sensing that some thing or some one may be hiding or deceiving can turn a once naive and trusting soul into a suspicious and jaded one instead. And that quite frankly sucks. It takes wisdom, faith and patience to find a healthy balance at times.

I think it’s good to know oneself. To truly understand your strengths and weaknesses (or rather ‘areas of development’), is actually to have the best tools – at your will :). And the areas of development can always evolve and improve. No matter which of the 16 personalities you are, you have that power within you and I just think that is the coolest thing ever when it comes to personal development.

I totally encourage you to do this. It’s interesting to see how accurate it is and either ponder it or share the results with someone you know too. And see theirs too.

http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Happy Sunday and I hope you are having a magnificent day ☀️ 😊