The Best and Most Beautiful Things..

imageEvery year, throughout the years, I hear two extremes; “My spouse doesn’t believe in Valentines Day, he thinks it’s a made-up-Hallmark holiday, and I agree with him.” or… “My sweetheart spent a LOT of money on me. First we went to a lobster dinner at a place that takes three months to get in, then we went to the movies, then we went for a carriage ride through the city, then…” then there are what feels like three more hours of details… 😉

All kidding aside, I do like hearing the different stories. It’s definitely impressive with how creative some get. Most of all, for me, it’s cute to see someone’s face all lit up as they describe the previous evenings events, especially when you can see giddiness or love (or the beginnings of it 😉 ) beaming from their eyes. 💖

I love hearing stories about grand gestures, and I’m definitely a romantic-movie fan, however personally, my favorite moments are something like this below (the simplest of breakfasts, on a random day, shared with the love of my life, who looks at me like he does…) and that’s pretty much it.

I also like this scene because of the advice about the dishwasher, lol… Quite true.. 🙂

It’s different for everyone; what makes you smile and what makes your heart skip a beat?

I saw a really great quote from Kimora Lee Simmons about Valentines Day once, I wish I could find it again. It was something to the effect of it not just being a day for couples, but a day of love, in general, of family, of friendship and for yourself. She encouraged people to do something kind for any and all of the above. 💖

I hope you treat yourself and those you love with a little extra something special. I hope you do on Valentines Day and any random day the moment inspires you.

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How to deal with ‘Stupid’

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Have you ever met one of those people that make you shake your head in dismay because what they’ve said is so backwards and defies any and every logic, that you swear you might be on candid camera, because no one could possibly be THAT stupid?

You know the type;  the kind next to you in the waiting room that offers solutions that are three times more unhealthy and unsafe for your children, than the illness itself. The kind that obsesses like a lunatic about a comma being in the wrong place of a sentence (never mind the fact that the sentence itself… heck, the entire paragraph is ignorance and counterproductivity altogether, right?) but the only thing the idiot cares about is the fricking comma placement.

Omg and lol.  Yes, we have all been there a time or two, forced to witness or partake in an absurd plan, event or hairbrained idea.

The real dilemma is, though, what to do when it becomes a pattern. When you are watching a repetitive example of “Those who create their own storms and then cry when it rains”.

Your initial reaction may be to get frustrated, then feel hopeless, but I have good news for you. The good news is, you don’t have to care. By that I mean, you don’t have to take such an emotional investment into the situation. I understand, believe me, I’ve been there. I used to get so frustrated, but here’s the thing: if the people who are creating their own storms truly wanted your help and truly wanted to enhance or improve a situation, they would’ve approached it in a new way and in a new mindset, long before it became a pattern. 📌

You cannot change people at their core. It is what it is and they are what they are. Let it go. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t let the opinion of those who can’t even fathom what you could contribute…phase you in the least bit. Try instead to view them for what they really are: unaware, struggling and stumbling individuals that will have to learn the hard way – on their own.

 

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If you are in a situation where you feel like you are watching (what happens in this picture above) so often that it becomes the sad example of ‘the norm’… You need to decide to either drastically change the situation (if you actually can, if you can, yay! and go for it!), or accept the ridiculousness for what it is. I have to share this with you, there is incredible freedom that comes with that one act, ‘acceptance’.

By all means, do Not emotionally invest yourself in the situation or in any of their thought processes, if it means diminishing any wonderful part of ‘you’. Do Not change yourself to accommodate people who can’t even comprehend your value.

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Just sit back, pull up a popcorn, a soda and have fun watching the show. 🎥 📺 😊

And if they get negative (most who can’t evolve, will get this way) at you or at others, try to think of it as a Three-Stooges-type of entertainment 🎭.  Of course they’re going to do something that makes no sense, again, of course they’re going to whine, complain and desperately claw at SOMEone, again… For some, that is all they are capable of.

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But this time, you’ll enjoy watching them run around like fools, tripping, falling and making —es of themselves, just like the Three Stooges did, as they (hilariously) tried to fix something and made it worse, still… 🙂 Think of it as a free cable channel 😉 and you’ll be just fine. 💖

 

 

less is more.

Wishing luck! ♡ You’ll do wonderful :’)

Not all who wander are lost...

I recently had dinner with an old friend I haven’t seen in a few months but who is always a breath of fresh air. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately by a lot of things going on in my life: my husband and I are expecting our third child (although exciting and fun, will be a huge adjustment), my dad recently passed away after a fierce battle with cancer, both of my husband’s grandmothers passed away, I’ve had a close family member deal with (and successfully) had a surgery to remove cancer, some people in my family are splitting up, and it’s rolling around to be that time of year where it’s the anniversary of Robby’s passing…which I don’t think will ever become easier with time. It’s hard when you’re stuck in the tornado of life to think with clarity and reason; something I often struggle with when I’m over tired…

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A Day at The Beach

As anticipated, my time with my relatives was amazing. I’d show pictures but we are laughing so hard in most of them we look silly :). ❤️

They were just as I remembered them; loving, kind, funny and respectful. They made us laugh, we had our serious moments, and we got to know another member of the family, which just felt like we were welcoming an old friend.

We went to dinner, then to the beach and then out for ice cream. I was in seventh heaven watching them lightly poke fun of each other and laughing till our stomachs hurt, or show concern and help each other, or talk and laugh with a bunch of complete strangers (another family passing by on the beach), and share stories of life and such, even as we all were so tired from our long days…

I can see why, now. I can see why I had such a culture shock when I entered the real world at eighteen.  Nowhere else have I been treated with such warmth, kindness, respect and observed such inclusiveness. The main mindset is “Welcome! Don’t mind us if we get a little silly, please make yourself comfortable and join in! We are happy to have you 🙂 💕”

There is no ego, no conceit and no arrogance. No underpinning insults or terse competition. No one talks about the status of their jobs in a bragging manner (even though I know they very well could), or the type of car they just bought.  They are one of the very few groups I’ve encountered where myself and others do NOT have to have one’s guard up constantly. There is no need, no one cares about the shallow materialistic things in life at that moment. They are just there to relax and have fun.

Making people feel welcome and comfortably at ease, putting smiles on others’ faces or helping them out in one way or another… That’s just my relatives. One Christmas way back in my childhood, we invited a family friend to our holiday get together. The lady brought her boyfriend and just as always, we all said hi and got to know him and talk with him. The evening included food, beverages, kids running around, beautiful music in the background, at times soft conversation and at other, roaring laughter 😄.

To me it seemed like a usual family get together. Three days later however, we received a call from the family friend and she told us “My boyfriend could not stop talking about how much fun he had! He said he has never before in his life experienced such warmth, hospitality, kindness and fun! Your family is one of a kind and he wanted to say thank you soo much, he just couldn’t believe how nice it all was, thank you!”

I do remember seeing him laughing and enjoying himself. He looked soo happy.  I thought nothing of it. That was normal for me with this bunch 🙂 ❤️.

Whether we were at the beach or in a house or at an airport, they taught me how to “make the best of what is, right now”, to love, be grateful, be kind, give to others, do what you can to put a smile on a loved ones or a complete strangers face, and help others…❤️

It was a wonderful reminder, seeing them again, to not take certain things so seriously and to remember the more important things in life.

I’m just sending out smiles to you today and wishing you the very best!

☀️

“When I was your age!”

“When I was your age!”

Do you remember your grandma or grandpa or older relative saying this or something similar, to you? 🙂

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‘If they ever create a behind-your-back eye roll detector, I’m in big trouble.’ -unknown

When I was little I’d hear that often, lol, and each time I’d roll my eyes (after I got back to my room of course) :).  I remember thinking “Yes Grandma (or Grandpa) but this is the here and now, you know, modern times…? What does that have to do with anything, now?” Oh my gosh, I bet they are laughing from beyond now, at me, because now I understand what they meant, on sooo many levels

“By the time a man realizes his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong”  ♡

These days I see kids disrespect their parents on a daily basis, at the grocery store, in the local retail stores, etc., It doesn’t even surprise me anymore to hear spoiled loud and rude kids mouthing off to their parents – and that’s the saddest part. I’m so accustomed to encountering that behavior that it has become the norm instead of the exception.

There are kids who are in their teens who haven’t worked one job to actually earn any money, and have had everything handed to them their whole lives and then have the nerve to judge and discriminate others on a daily basis. It literally makes me sick.

There are kids who don’t contribute to anything or anyone, much less reciprocate to anyone who has sacrificed and given to them and probably never will either.

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I remember when I was young;
* We said please and thank you
* We helped around the house
* We cleaned and had chores
* We took care of our neighbors
* We watched adults be kind and loving and patient with each other
* We laughed, sang and partied like nobody’s business
* We gave thanks to those who gave to us
* We went out of our way to reciprocate kindness
* We respected our elders, whether we could relate to them or not 🙂
* We helped our parents with daily tasks
* We talked about dreams of ‘some day…’
* We had heart-to-heart talks…
* Above all else love, kindness and RESPECT were at the forefront of #howtobe.
* Doing anything we could to make our loved ones smile was important.

In today’s world where my personal experience is encountering more conceit, arrogance, rudeness, laziness and disrespect… I am putting it mildly when I say ‘I miss the old days’. That’s actually the understatement of the millennium.

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I am soo happy to say, I get to be with some of those relatives from that era of my life. Where a simple walk on the beach, a long talk (or no words needed sometimes), laughter echoing in the air because my relatives are telling genuinely funny jokes to bring people together, not tear down others, have just been spoken, the warmth of inclusiveness and openness of just relax, pull up a chair and be yourself ambience will greet us. Smiles, humor and kindness will fill the air ♡. I get to be with them again later today ♡♡♡! *happy dance*

My childhood was not the easiest in reality, but the good parts, the amazing and beautiful parts were because of those relatives.

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Back when I was a youngin’ ;), I was blessed enough to be surrounded by love, teachers of Respect, kindness, guidance and laughter. We actually earned what we made. We were taught how to show appreciation and what it meant to “give back” and “pay it forward”.

I may sound like an old grandpa but quite frankly, if it’s a grandpa like I had, who busted his butt to earn his pay, paid his dues and succeeded through trials most would be surprised at and was pretty darn wise, then I’ll take it as a compliment ♡!

You’ve Got a Friend in Me

Today I had one of the nicest mornings than I have in such a long time. 😊 👛 👗 My wonderful friend (from where I used to work) and I had breakfast at a local favorite restaurant and caught up on what’s all new in our lives.

You know those friends who can recall an event and make you feel as though you were right there with them? Or make you laugh and heal a hurting heart in the process? Or somehow just know the right thing to say to help you feel better just in one simple supportive sentence? She is all of those above and thensome. 💖

On top of that she’s smart, so creative and organized (I think she missed her calling as an event planning expert.) It doesn’t matter what the occasion is, she can calmly take hold of a situation and create beautiful experiences for people and handle all sorts of situations (and personalities 😉 ) and leave you feeling as though you were in the best capable hands and cared for, no matter what circumstances arise.

She is a true friend and confidant (which in my experience is so rare…). I’m so grateful for her friendship and all that I learn from her. I hope some day to be as wonderful of a lady as she is 💖.

Some day I’ll share this blog with her, when I have a bit more confidence in my writing ☺️. I’m getting braver each day, lol, but I still feel a bit nervous. Some day I’ll share it with those special people that I know should hear some of these things I’m writing about.

For now though, I’m going to keep practicing writing…and just play a song that reminds me of her…

12 Little Known Laws… Karma

http://tinyurl.com/ngahag5

Lately there have been such good posts about doing what’s right and/or healthiest for one’s body, mind and soul that I thought it had to be more than just a coincidence that I came across this article around the same time.

I personally believe that what one puts out into the universe, in one way or another, can come back to you. Maybe not the same day or even year but that it does.

I never thought of it fully like how the writer explains in this article though.

There’s always something new keeping me on my toes ♡. 🙂

Getting in the right/healthier mindset is looking more important each day…

I wish you peace of mind, happiness and a beautiful day…

The Day The Shift Started…

I was driving to my parent’s house and my cell phone rang. I’ll listen to it later I thought. That day was just a clean-up-&-toss-out day, so I was sure that nothing could be urgent. I was just minutes away, after all.

When I pulled up to the driveway I was shocked to see how many belongings were layed out across the cement in the driveway and garage.  Items that my mom had, for years, begged us to go through and toss or organize, now took up every spare inch of the driveway and then some…

I saw our wonderful neighbors sitting with my dad, showing him each item, talking to him, seeing him shake his head no, and then exhaustedly walk away and put it in a particular pile.

As I walked closer to greet my dad and give him a hug, I saw tears running down his face. I saw so much pain in his eyes that even now as I recall it, I tear up and shake.

They were helping my dad clean out the house that he and my mom lived in, the only place I knew as “home”, that held soo many memories for us…

It was a fairly large house. Nothing in comparison to the luxury homes I see nowadays but it was nice. One of my childhood friends joked that it looked like a miniature ‘White House’ because of the white pillars in front. I loved that front porch and swing…

It was a decent enough size to hold a lot of sentimental belongings.  How ironic, I thought, now that mom has passed away, is when we all finally listen to her and start cleaning out that large attic and basement.

Shamefully I wiped away tears, held my dad’s hand and started assisting my neighbors in asking him “What would you like to have us do with this?”. To every question his answer was “Keep it please. That’s from when your mom and I went… (insert name of road trip, family vacation and/or small event he remembered)…I love that (name of trinket)… It reminds me of your mom.” and the heartbreak washed over his face even more.

From the smallest to the heaviest of items, no matter how broken or how much he knew he wouldn’t use them again, he said “Keep it please, don’t throw that away, it’s in perfectly good condition. ”

After awhile we were all getting a little flustered and frustrated. He was about to be moved into a small ranch-style (only half of it) house. There was no way there would be enough room for all of these things.

When he wouldn’t let go of some old Christmas wrapping (several hours later) I had to step away to take a deep breath. Not because I thought he was being irrational or overly sentimental but because up until that day, I had been like that too.

My mom had told me countless time to donate some of my toys to a child who could receive some joy out of them, instead of them sitting in an attic just collecting dust. She had been so right. And ~ If I had done so, my dad wouldn’t be sitting there on the cement floor of his garage, being forced to remember even more memories that made him shed tears, again.

Over and over it hit me like a tons of bricks, smacked so hard into my chest that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. With each item he insisted on keeping and each tear that fell down his cheek, I was reminded of my immature needs those years ago. “No mom, don’t give that away, that was a gift from ___ and I want to keep it forever! “

Our family friends eventually talked him into giving up some items. Bless their hearts for their efforts and patience. I couldn’t handle it. My mom had passed away just a couple weeks earlier and it was too much for either my dad or I to take.

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That day changed my need to keep sentimental items. I saw how much pain was in my dad’s eyes and swore I’d never allow myself to get emotionally attached to material things ever again.

This wasn’t the beginning to my journey into ‘minimalism’ though. I hadn’t even heard of it back then. As a matter of fact, I went the other direction, let go of too much. Because of my story, which I hope to tell some day, there were things I tossed that I should’ve kept and I’m still more than sad about them.

I started to go the extreme other direction. A part of the grieving processes, especially denial and anger for me was tossing anything and everything 😦

It would be many years before I would want to or begin to understand how to find the right balance.

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When I arrived home later that day I listened to the voicemail from the phone call earlier that day. It had been from one of my parents’ family friends. they were asking me to come help my dad because he was having a difficult time letting go of so many things.

Until that moment, I didn’t realize how much I was too…